Time REALLY flies. Unknowingly, I am in my 7th month. No, it should not be unknowingly. Because the weight is getting heavier. I can feel the heaviness of the tummy lurking all around me nowadays.
The frequent visits to the toilets are coming back, just like how it was in the 1st trimester.
Getting up from the bed or from the couch also take extra effort now.
At times like this, I wish that Xavier can come out faster, but i know once he is out, there will be a greater set of new problems. I hope these will be happy problems.

My mood swings are also back.

Or maybe it has been here all this while. I hate myself for the frequent and immature outburst of emotions.

To others, it seems like such a small tiny matter, but I myself cannot even handle it. Be it work, personal or family. Everything is spiralling downwards.
I also hate my workplace. There's no privacy. For someone that cannot be a pokerface, I always wear my emotions on my sleeve. And I do not like it that people can see it.
Bad things always come together. This morning, the most hated client called me. After 5 mins of a fusturating coversation, the 2nd line on my office phone ring. and who else can it be but of course, the bane of my life. I really really hate her. I don't know why. It shudders me to think about my next year plans once I finish my maternity leave. I have to see her everyday. If Biggie were to read this, she will be so puzzled. She will tell me its all in my mind. If I choose to 看开一点， peace will be with me. Life will be much better. Afterall, she has been very nice towards me already.

This whole week has been fraught with unhappiness. Even the most anticipated outing at ICB turn out to be a major flop. I was crying for one hour at the back alley of ICB. The drizzle last evening seem to make me feel worse.
I have a bad habit of running away everytime. Happened at ICB last night, happened everytime I quarrel with Greg in public places, even happened once in my in-laws place just before dinner was served.
And it also happen all the time in office. I will slam the phone down loud, take my stuff and go on "flight". This is bad, I know.
Lack of maturity, selfish and childish acts. Firstly, it does not improve the situation. Secondly, I may affect others' with my bad mood behaviour.
Thirdly, it does not reflect well on me. Sometimes I look into the mirror and when I see the cruxifix hanging on my neck, I feel ashamed.

There are so so so many cases where I lose it, only to regret my rash actions after cooling down. I should learn to be like Biggie. calm and composed.
Yesterday, she referred a friend to open an account with me. Her friend was going on and on and on about how mild-tempered and nice person Biggie is.
I agree. If only I have half of her calm and rational qualities.

Everyone has been telling me to be happy cause it affects the baby. A happy and smiling baby is what everyone wants. Who don't want that?
Maybe I should try harder again. Yes, I can and will be happy. Nothing is unsolvable in this world. My problems...NAH! what problems are those?! It is just bad anger management on my part. Learn to calm myself down first everytime I feel the anger coming. Then, talk positvely to the mind. It will help.
I am reaching 30 years old, so please think like an adult. Life has been good to me. Even UBFF says I have got an almost perfect life and should be happy about it. True, I have a complete and loving family. My husband is the best husband in the world. I have a smooth and good pregnancy so far.
Everything is good at work and I have great colleagues. I have very nice and caring friends, who are always there to take my nonsense. Am I taking all this for granted?

3 more months and the baby will be out. Maybe its the impending pressure. Maybe its the stress of seeing everything unsettled.
Or maybe, why not; its just me?
I need to learn fast. Because there will be much much more stress once the baby is out. I can't imagine.....

Yesterday, I returned a half-read book. "The girl who has the dragon tattoo". It got too violent and was quite RA as well. I reckon that it won't do a pregnant woman any good reading such contents. I switched it to "Eat, pray, love". Think I will like the latter much more.
I like a good read. It transports me to another world, away from the harsh reality of life for that moment.